Well, my two-week update plan was a disaster, wasn't it? It always amazes me just how much vet school sucks me in every block. I suppose this shouldn't be shocking; I mean, I moved over 900 miles and changed pretty much my entire life just to attend school.
Anyway, I feel like I should update here, but I don't know that I have much of anything to talk about.
Second year is not what I thought it would be, in a very nice way. Classes are more interesting and I actually feel like I'm learning "doctor" stuff. I'm currently taking public health, pharmacology, veterinary business, and my second course of special pathology. Nothing is easy, but for the most part it is all interesting.
I did have a mini-breakdown a month or so ago. I just started feeling really out of touch with the whole vet school experience and the veterinary field. All of a sudden people are stressing over internships, jobs, resumes, research, and conferences. We still have two and a half years left!! I felt really left behind the rest of the class. It didn't help that my test performances weren't where I wanted them to be. I finally met with our associate dean of students, who was not surprised to see me. Apparently, his office becomes flooded with VM2s every year who are starting to question where they fit in and whether they should even be doing this at all.
After about an hour of talking, it was decided that I was pretty much like every other student there, except that I was additionally worrying about things other people probably weren't. A simple "Don't worry about that right now. Start worrying about it at some given future date" was all I ended up really needing. Well, after midterm week, a good cry was also in order. Your body can only survive on a few hours sleep and coffee for so long until something has to break. Mom definitely got worried during Thanksgiving when I started to sob because she offered me a granola bar.
After the turmoil of "Do I fit in? Am I good enough for this? Will I end of flipping burgers with hundreds of thousands of dollars of debt because I have made a terrible decision?" I started to kind of get over it. I know I'm in the right place, well, at least for right now. No matter how long I spend in Missouri, it just does not feel Right. I've just gotten used to the idea that sometimes we live in places and go through things not because they are fun, but because they are what will allow us to live the lives we want in the future. And that's okay.
So, in the end, I am thankful for where I am right now and the family and friends I have been blessed with who keep reminding me of the future to which I have to look forward.
"Thank God every day when you get up that you have something to do that day which must be done whether you like it or not. Being forced to work and forced to do your best will breed in you temperance and self-control, diligence and strength of will, cheerfulness and content, and a hundred virtues which the idle will never know."~ Basil Carpenter
"We can always find something to be thankful for, no matter what may be the burden of our wants, or the special subject of our petitions."~ Albert Barnes
